Who is guilty...!!!

Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night and suddenly shouts:

"Up!! Quick! My husband is back."

Man gets up, jumps out of the window, hurts his back, and then realizes:

"Damn, I'm the husband!"

“Who is guilty” in this situation?

Koi apni biwi ka Antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha ki achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se barish shuru hui. Dukhi aadmi bola: lagta hai pahunch gai.

During Surgery

Things You Don't Want To Hear During Surgery:

"Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

"Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop."

"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

"Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!"

"Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"

"Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie."

"Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."

"Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"

"Shoot, there go the lights again...."

"Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of them."

"What do you mean you want a divorce?"